Ramblings from my uncontrollable psyche.

38. Beautiful Life

While it has been some time, and I’m a completely new person, I am still the same! Thank goodness for consistency.  I’ve switched schools, majors, bookstore jobs, I’m about to graduate and I’m dating and in love with my best friend.  Oh, and I got glasses. So, really nothing new here.  Just life being really great.

(More Than) Best Friends

My time lately has been busy filled with making documentaries- planning, filming, cutting, stressing.  Links to videos will come later- not of me being stressed, of the documentaries.  If that were the case, it would be me crying and taking deep breaths and no one needs to be seeing that.  As a senior electronic media student, I am pushed to my full potential in regards to my creativity, talent, time management, and work ethic.  I mean, I’ve even made business cards.  Business cards!! Who am I? A child playing dress-up, complete with business cards, apparently.  And a professional, linkedin account.  What?

So, some things change and some things don’t.  Like, the fact that I cry every time I finish the series finale of Will & Grace.  This just happened and it has been hard.  Why does it have to be so hard?  So, I watch through all eight seasons and I’m a part of the gang, ya know.  But then, wait, everything has to end.  I guess, I will just have to start the whole process over again.  Build up these relationships, fall in love, laugh and cry together, all for it to be taken away again. Life’s hard.  And I mean, I’ve watched all 8 seasons more times than I can count and I know every line, joke, gesture, and inflection, but that’s all okay, as long as I still laugh every time.  Right?  ….Right?? My life’s not sad…

Another reason my life isn’t sad is that embarrassing things don’t ever happen to me.  Except that’s a lie.  See I am Sue Heck and I am Sue Heck Part II.  Here’s a real life example.  Last semester, after taking my last exam, I got on the elevator to leave.  As I was waiting for the doors to close, two girls started running to the elevator, so, as the good person I am, I frantically started hitting the OPEN DOOR button.  It wasn’t working!  So, one girl ended up  with the doors closing on her shoulders and she pushed them open dramatically as her head lifted up to me with a disgusted sneer.  They turned to look at my finger, still on the button, and I looked down, too, only to see that I  had been pushing the DOOR CLOSED button.  It looked like I didn’t want them on the elevator with me.  Oh, and these two girls were international, Chinese students.  And there I was, the small, pompous, racist white girl with no idea what to do to make things right.  So, as apologetically as I could, I said, “I am SO sorry.  I promise I thought I was hitting the door open button the whole time.”  That was innocent enough right?  No. They both blankly stared at me, obviously disgusted and began to talk to each other in Mandarin the entire elevator ride, until we stopped, and I made sure to let them out first, as the kind, courteous and cultured individual I am.

P.S. This post is dedicated to October.  The start of fall and autumnal activities, scents, and happiness.

Over & Out

Yes.Currently listening to: Mikky Ekko- Kids


37. Ten (more) Wonderful Things

Happy Thursday everyone. Here are 10 (more) things that bring joy.

10. When you wake up and realize you still get to go back to sleep.

Everyone has experienced this and we (humans) can all agree that this is one of the best feelings ever.  You know you’re bound to still be talking about it if it happens to you, a week later.  It’s that impactful.

9. Fake Tattoos.

They were fun when you were 8, they’re fun when you’re 50.


This was my most recent “fake” tattoo. I use the word “fake” lightly, since I felt like a real badass, not a fake one.

8. Mexican Food.

I don’t want to ruin this one with words, so I won’t.

7. Dancing.

One of my favorite activities in the universe. Really. My favorite moves include: the scarecrow, krumping, and any of Beyonce’s move.  And yes, I do know the entire dance to Single Ladies. Obviously.

6. Converse Chuck Taylor Sneakers.

Now that’s a shoe.


5. Maps.

Any kind.  I love them. That’s all there is to it.  Knowing where you are in relation to other things and knowing where other things are in relation to OTHER things- Crazy.

4. Being literate.

I love it and I am fortunate enough to have grew up in a society and a family that value education.  Seriously, don’t take this one for granted. It’s pretty cool when you think about it.

note: First book I read- Noah’s Ark.

3. Driving under a bridge while it’s raining


2. Putting in the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle

I know a man who makes is his duty to always steal a piece as his family works on the puzzle, never works on the puzzle, waits until all the other pieces are in, then reaches into his pocket to pull out that missing piece, just so he experiences the great feeling of putting in the last piece.  That is commitment.  And I have started doing this too.  What a great feeling.

1. Getting to pull through your parking space

This is beautiful whether by chance or strategy. As you’re pulling through, you know that you’re smiling. You feel proud.  And so does your car.  Talk about a win-win.

P.S. This post is dedicated to anyone that goes through patterns of love and hate for humanity.  “There are some great people in this world”  to  “I hate everyone.” This can be a seasonal change, a daily change, or even an hourly one. It happens.  To everyone.  It’s that simple.

Over & Out


Currently listening to: Boy & Bear- Feeding Line

A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.

36. Old Soul

Happy day-after-the-season-premiere-of-30Rock everyone! Hope you enjoyed your fill of Kenneth in his green tights and Liz in her dickey. I’m glad we’re all surviving this rapture year so far, and I hope that you all rock the hell out of 2012.  It’s your last chance to do so after all.

I plan to spend this year continuing to do my favorite elderly activities.  You know, jigsaw puzzles, reading books, doing the crossword in the newspaper, and “staying in” to watch TV with friends.  As Will, from Will & Grace, said,” I’m not really doing anything. Just a night of soup and online Yahtzee.”  That sounds perfect to me.  That’s why I love being an old soul.  I have always been one since I was little, so maybe that means that when I’m old, I’ll have the privilege of being a young soul.  It’s like I’ve been living life for 60 years, but in reality it’s been a third of that.  At school, I refer to everyone else as “the kids” (because of course, I couldn’t possibly one of those rotten kids… ??)  I shake my head at “the youths” these days (and yes, I call them that).  The Y generation. Kids these days.  We’re the worst.  Pull your pants up! Look me in the eye when we talk! I kid.  I know that I am one of those kiddos too, but I try my best to better than that.  But, I do seriously feel like I’m 60 sometimes.  I’ll say things like, “no, let’s just stay in and play an exciting couple rounds of Rummikub or Scrabble!”  “How about we sit here for 5 or 6 hours straight and put together this jigsaw puzzle that is just a field of flowers?”  One of my favorite old souls on television is Manny from Modern Family with his espresso each morning, sophisticated fashion sense, and his sage advice.

Something I thought up the other day is not very mature at all, and I’m excited to get some friends together and try it.  It’s called, well I’m not sure yet (being honest, I haven’t really given it that much thought yet), BUT what you do is, when it’s raining and you’re walking around lots of other people with umbrellas (such as a college campus) you hop from umbrella to umbrella.  As many as you can get under, as to still stay dry.  And guess what, you don’t have to carry your own umbrella.  Plus you’ll make lots of new friends.  Well, maybe.

I’ve been thinking about just how many embarrassing moments I have in life, and I really enjoy it.  So, what I will do is make a post soon (or possibly a published book) of my favorite (or not-so-favorite) embarrassing moments.  For those of you who have seen the new show, New Girl, I’d like to say I am similar to Zooey Deschanel’s character, Jess, but less charming.  More awkward.  Just as my best friend, Maggie, calls me, Richard.  (my awkward alter ego who does socially embarrassing things).  Just to give you a taste, here’s my most recent example.  At Christmas eve service at church, we “took a second to greet and say hello to those around you”, so naturally, I turn around and shake hands with a guy (clearly with his girlfriend).  He says, “Hi, my name is Matt”.  I say, “Hi, my name is Matt.  …..Wait, I mean my name’s Linnea.  Sorry.”  I turn around and sit down.  That’s the end of that story.

P.S. This post is dedicated to the first cold-streak and snowfall of the season.  The world is wonderful and white with snow.  And that is good.  Very good.

Over & Out

Currently listening to: Two of my favorite folk covers, which I am currently learning on piano.  They are beautiful!

1.Bon Iver’s cover of Bonnie Raitt’s- I Can’t Make You Love Me

2. James Vincent McMorrow’s cover of Steve Winwood’s 80’s classic- Higher Love

Someone just had to go and poke winter awake & all the fresh cold reminded us of this  

35. Now is Good Times

It is officially chapped lips, dry skin, and sweater weather.  Hooray!  It may not seem like a positive thing to some of you, friends, however, when the temperature decreases, coffee consumption increases.  Plus, you get to wear hats, scarves, and mittens.  Side note about my favorite pair of mittens.  My dad brought me home mittens made from alpaca hair from a business trip.  They are soft and lovely.  Last year, one morning before I walked into class, I stopped to use the bathroom.  After class, when I went to put my alpaca mittens on, I was missing one.  I went in the bathroom and checked for the lost little guy and there it lay in the toilet.  It wasn’t even a question, I didn’t hesitate- I reached in and saved my mitten.  I ran it under water in the sink, wrung it out, and wrapped it in paper towel.  When I got home, I washed it by hand, then hung it up with a clothespin in front of the window.  That mitten has been through a lot.  Whenever I wear that pair, I feel a little extra love on my hands.

Last week, my roommate and I signed a lease for an apartment next year.  Getting outta these dorms after 2 years!  4′ x 4′ rooms are not enough! (That is an exaggeration, if I’ve ever seen one).  Daily, we come up with more and more positives to being in an apartment.  Today, I came to realize that after this year, I won’t have to wear flip flops in the shower anymore.  That is SO great!  Wearing shoes while you’re showering feels so unnatural.  We are just very excited to have a place that we are allowed to decorate a bit and a kitchen in which we can actually cook and bake.  I think, most of all, we’re excited to be roommates once again.  I keep lists of my roommate’s (Taylor) quotes.  These keep me laughing for days.  And as you know, friend, there is nothing I like to do more than to laugh. For example, just last night on our walk home from seeing Puss in Boots (which was great by the way), she let me know that whenever she hears Dubstep it makes her imagine a giant monster vomiting.  Yes.

On the topic of laughing, I think it’s incredibly appropriate to laugh to yourself in public.  I say this only to justify when I do it.  Which is a lot.  Now, if I’m watching a funny video on the computer or reading something, most people accept that a little more, but I’m talking about the laughter that comes when a past moment pops in your head while you’re walking and all you can do is chuckle.  At the library yesterday, a girl next to me did that and all I could do was smile and make-believe what it was she was laughing about.  Come to think of it, it was probably the hundreds of photos of me around campus she was cracking up about.

At school here, I work at the bookstore and it’s great.  I get a lot of fun opportunities that I wouldn’t normally have.  For instance, a few weeks ago, I happened to be there on a day I don’t work.  One of the managers said, “Linnea will do it!” as I walked in.  I said, “she’ll do what?”  He then informed me he needed a model for an ad for our upcoming store-wide sale.  Obviously, without hesitation, I said yes.  I got into this fleece “M” ensemble (which itself is clearly from the sale rack) found a fleece hat, and got to work giving the camera my best poses. Good thing, my best friend, Maggie, is a professional model and had already taught me the art of smeysing (smiling with your eyes).  The ad turned out great, little did I know, I would run into my face everywhere I turn on campus.  Giant posters in the library, student center, and dining halls.  Little paper ads on every dining hall table.  And of course, a digital ad on any University TV on campus.  I am receiving texts from people who saw it just to tell me they loved it and I get stopped by strangers just to ask if I’m the girl in the ad.  I am.

P.S. This post is NOT dedicated to hangnails.  Lately, I’ve been having some bad ones.  I am a picker (of anything) so I’ve been catching myself picking at my hangnails- freakin Black Swan!

Currently listening to: Gungor- This is Not the End

May all beings be happy, healthy, safe, and free.

34. Ten More Things (a continuation)

As I sit here in a comfy chair, surrounded by books, drinking pumpkin-flavored coffee, I realize that there is so much in this world to love.  I always say that it’s about the little things, and I will stand by that til I die.  So, here is my third installment of Ten Things I Love. 

10. Putting on slippers right out of bed.

This move is so iconic and can be seen in countless movies, but when it actually happens to you in real life, it can make your whole day.  Your piglets only have to feel the cold air outside of the warm covers for a split second until they land into the clouds called your slippers.

9. Sketching on your homework.

Besides babysitting, this is definitely one of my strongest skills.  It started from the day I was in school until now- the handouts I get in college, still have flowers and faces scribbled up and down the margins.  It’s the best feeling- doing something that seems so taboo, yet you’re doing it.  You could always do it in pencil and erase, but the ballsy homework artists leave their work in pen.

8. Bon Iver music

One of my favorite bands (because there is too much good music in the world to pick just one favorite).  Every time I am listening to a Bon Iver song, I think “this is one of my favorite things in the world.”  Here’s Bon Iver’s classic, Skinny Love.  And here’s Towers from their new album.

7. The smell of/ after rain.


6. Two pretzel sticks stuck together.

I always take the time to search through a bag (unsanitary, I know) of the skinny pretzel sticks to look for the conjoined twins.  They are the best ones.  They have a little less air inside and are super crunchy. Next time you find some that are stuck together, put them in an envelope and mail them to me.  I’ll return the gift with a picture of me smiling and enjoying them.

5. Getting the sleep out of your eyes.

Sleep is those little crusty crusts that develop in your tear duct and the only thing that can be done, is to get it outta there!  Once you grossly dig in there and get it out, you’re free.  You’re refreshed.  You’re renewed and ready to take on the day.  Side note: I always get the sleep out of my dog’s eyes because he doesn’t have the pleasure of having opposable thumbs nor the satisfaction of getting it out, so I sacrifice and do it for him.  He couldn’t care less.

4. Memorizing things.

It doesn’t matter what it is.  Once you have something permanently in your brain, it’s a great feeling.  It could be the one time you’re listening to a song, and catch yourself singing along to every word.  It could be the day you finally remember that 8-digit ID number for school that you use to clock in and out at work.  It could be a new friend’s telephone number or address.  Any way, it’s wonderful.

3. Perfectly ripping out a perforated page from a notebook.

This is a hard one to do, but when it happens your soul lets out a little sigh of relief and accomplishment.  Seriously, next time you do it, you’ll catch yourself smiling.

2. Chocolate Milk.

I don’t want to say much about this topic, because I’m afraid words could ruin its goodness.  All I will say is that lately, I have been having a pint for lunch and that’s it.  One of the best beverages on the planet.

1. Silent Laughs

I LOVE laughing and listening to laughs, but I think my favorite laughs to “listen” to are the silent ones.  For the most part, I am a silent laugher and sometimes they are the heartiest kind of laughs.  Silent laughs are the kind that make you lose your breath, kill your abs, and make you cry.  That’s what life’s about- laughing until your abs hurt and tears are streaming down your face.

P.S. This post is dedicated to quirkiness.  It’s that goofy, borderline weirdness that we all have inside of us (and I believe I have little more of than the average human).  Embrace it.

Currently listening to: Turtle Giant- Sunlight

33. I am Sue Heck Part II

Welcome back to Thoughtsinmybrain after that multiple-month shortage.  Hope you still remember who I am.  

That’s me!  See I haven’t changed any.  I am back and ready to blog.  I have lists and lists of blog topics so be prepared for the hurricane of word jumble about to come your way.  Speaking of word jumble, I’ve been making sure I have time everyday to do the New York Times Crossword puzzle and just thought you, my friend, would like to know that lately the puzzles have been absolutely top-notch. Okay.  Now, time for today’s thoughts.  Part II of why I am Sue Heck.

As I said in my first post about why I am Sue Heck, the awkward and lovable daughter from ABC’s The Middle, I constantly find myself in situations that I have a hard time putting into words because they are so awkward and socially not okay.  The thing is, however, I love it.  It’s who I am.  Sue Heck.  Or as my best friend in the whole world, Maggie :), calls me: Richard.  He is my alter-ego and comes out whenever I do awkward things- such as body movements and dance moves that would make anyone uncomfortable or make noises that I seem to have no control over.  “What you just did right there was sssooooo Richard!”

I was thinking back to my high school memories and even more Sue Heck moments flooded back to me.  My junior year, I won the Mason Film Festival.  Sounds prestigious right?  Well, the film festival took place in a small multipurpose room off Mason’s public library.  And yes I won, however, I was one of four entries.  The winner was decided predominately by audience votes and I just so happened that day to have lots of people with me that day (close to 10 I’d say while other people had maybe their mom, dad, and brother who was drug there against his will).  So, from those votes, I won.  It was quite an honor, because the winner won a tin of candy and a $10 Chipotle giftcard.  I still have a hard time believing that I won such an honorable award.

The spring of my senior year, college-bound, I applied for a $1,000 scholarship given out by Mason High School for future teachers.  Again, there were not very many applicants, but I won!  I was proud of myself for my application and essays.  This $1,000 dollars would be able to help, at the least, pay for books.  Awesome!  One day, in class, I was called down to go see Mrs. s0-and-so, an art teacher, in her classroom.  I had no idea why, but, again, I was used to weird things like that, so I went.  I walk in to a full classroom (awkwardly, I might add).  “Hi, uh, I was just called down here.  Are you Mrs. s0-and-s0?”  (Frazzled) “Oh yes! Are you Linnea (Lin-nay-uh)?”  “Yeah, I’m Linnea (Lynn-e-uh)”  “Well, I am here to congratulate you on winning the Mason High School Future teachers scholarhip”  At this point, she grabs my hand for an awkward hand shake. “Oh wow, thank you!”  “Just a minute, I have it here somewhere for you”  She rustles through the mountain of chaos on her desk and finds a small, ripped, wrinkled, and I believe stained, envelope with my name written in pen on the front.  I take it, thank her, and leave.  Inside was a check made out to me and that was it.  It was a very shady exchange and my mom and I still laugh about that ripped up envelope with a check in it.

Two summers ago, I went out with my friend Sara and her family on their boat, Pee Wee.  I had never driven a boat but we were going through an idle-only section of the lake, and Mr. Rye asks if I’d like to take the wheel for a bit.  I gladly hop in the captain’s chair feelin fine.  Within a minute and a half, a police boat appears and pulls us over.  Are you kidding me?  I just took over the wheel.  This mustached man with a thick country accent pulls his wee police boat up next to ours and asks to see my boating license.  The family and I try to explain that I don’t have one, but I had just taken over the wheel to steer through the idle zone.  For fun, ya know.   Turns out, we had only been pulled over, because the boat didn’t have it’s registration tags visible on the boat.  It also turns out, the boat had never been registered.  Oops.  Anyway, the cop asked to see my driver’s license, but you know what, darn. My wallet is in the car, I stupidly assumed I wouldn’t be needing it on a boat.  He asks if I know my license number and, of course, I didn’t.  So he takes down my name, address etc.  and then boats away.  Nothing ever happened.  No marks on my driver’s license (that I am aware of).  But up to that point, it was the only time I had driven a boat, and the only time I had been pulled over on a boat.  So Sue Heck.

Last year, I developed a goofy, joke crush on a guy that my friend had known from high school.  I had never met him, just seen him.  One night, my friend and I were driving around and saw him crossing the street in front of us.  What do I do as we pass by?  Yell (with windows still up  ??)  Date me!  Date me!  That is all.

This past weekend, I went back to my Dad’s stomping grounds (Mexico, Missouri) to celebrate my Great Aunt Thelma’s (referred to as simply “Aunt Thelma” by everyone) 100th birthday!  Yeah, she’s awesome.  Read this article about her turning a hundy.  Since my extended family and I don’t see each other much, I get introduced to them when I do see them.  My dad introduced me to my first cousin and my second cousin.  Then he introduces his friend to them, not but one minute after and introduces them to her as “This is Kieth, Raleigh’s second cousin.  And this is Brian, Raleigh’s first cousin.”  Raleigh is my brother.  Who was not at the birthday party.  He was in Georgia- hours and states away.  Love you dad, really!

As I said in the first blog about my likeness to Sue Heck, I could continue this for days with examples, but I will stop.  I absolutely love being Sue Heck, it makes me me.

P.S. This post is dedicated to autumn- its smells, its colors, its sounds, and its gourds.  You’ll always be my favorite!

Currently listening to: Adele Remix- Rolling in the Deep (Jamie XX Shuffle)   Seriously.

“I like to write about the stuff going on in my life as long as it’s interesting, but otherwise, I’d rather just read.” -Brian Andreas

32. Dreaming

I have crazytown dreams every night and I remember every single one vividly (this most-likely means my subconscious is straight-up trippin’).  Anyways, since I have this (not very fond) connection with dreams, I was honored to hear that I made it into my best friend’s incredible dream not too long ago.  Before I share the dream she had, I will preface by saying she is dramatic, a born-performer, and genuinely hilarious.  I am not like that and would usually prefer to be behind-the-scenes.  My friend, Maggie, dreamed that we were working at Saturday Night Live- she as a performer and me as a writer/producer.  We lived in an apartment in NYC and life was great.  This dream is gonna happen- that’s all I can say because how fun would that be?  It’s weird that she had this dream though, because she has been told from multiple people that she should simply move to Chicago and join The Second City- an improv group where SNL gets many of its cast members and that has produced greats such as Mike Meyers, Chris Farley, Steve Carrell, Amy Poehler, and my homegirl, Tina Fey.  And you best believe that if I created sketches for SNL, I’d be making Fart Doctorand Rapping Suri Cruise sketches just like Liz Lemon does on 30 Rock.

Just last night, I had a dream that I was on a show with the same cast and set as 30 Rock, but with a different name.  All of a sudden, chaos erupted and all of these stars rushed the set -people like Conan O’Brien and Jon Stewart.  Some man in a suit was running toward Tina Fey, so Jon Stewart jumped on her.  I ran over and started pulling him off her and yelling, “Stop!  She’s my friend!  Don’t hurt my friend!”  He yelled back at me, “I’m protecting her since she’s my producer!”  Then he and I left together and went on a date and talked about crossword puzzles (since he loves doing the NYT crossword like me- if you didn’t know this, watch the awesome documentary, Wordplay).  The weird thing was, after the date, he walked me back to my freshman dorm at school.  It’s weird that this dream actually fits with what I’m talking about and it also gives you a glimpse into the weirdness that happens in my brain each night.  (This dream was only one in about 5 that I can recall from last night’s sleep).    It felt so real because it was winter and I remember looking down and seeing that I was wearing my fleece, zebra-print gloves (a common occurrence for me in winter).  Bizzare.  That’s what frustrates me the most about my dreams- that they seem so real, with people, places, and situations I know and when I wake up it seems as though I’ve had these experiences, but I didn’t.  Kinda like when Leo DiCaprio and his wife are in limbo for 50+ years in the 2010 sci-fi film, Inception.  All I can describe this as is Craaazytown, population: me.  Life’s fun.

P.S. This post is dedicated to the phenomenon called Planking and it’s younger brother, Owling.  Planking is where you lay down on your stomach with your arms at your side and take a photo.  The more obscure and weird the place or object you’re laying on, the better.  Owling is sitting in a position much like a gargoyle and doing the same thing.  At work last night, I captured this plank: 

Over & Out

Currently listening to: AWOLNATION- Sail