22. Old Love etc.

by 4linnea

So, I am incredibly sad because today I finished Tina Fey’s glorious book, Bossypants.  I did not want it to end.  It was as if I was in constant dialogue with her, which was great.  For those of you wondering, I could not wait for the library to get a copy, so I just bought it (who didn’t see that one coming?)  Anyways, the night after I bought it, I had a dream that I met her and we chatted for an hour or so just like old friends.  She signed my copy of the book and then hid cryptic words on some of the pages for me to decode as I read, because she is that clever.  I will be reading this book again…soon.  It was a quick read that just makes ya really happy- which is always good.  Side note: for those of you who enjoyed Stephen Colbert’s I Am America and So Can You, you will definitely enjoy this book (especially if you fit that criteria and also happen to be female).  I will share some of my favorite quotes from Bossypants that undeniably showcase Tina Fey’s witty writing:

Anyone who reads a pregnancy book knows that breast milk provides nutrition, immunities, and invaluable bonding time.  The breast is best.  Unless you need to get back on you psych meds or something, in which case give your baby Crystal Light on the Go or whatever it takes for you to not go crazy.

…I have no affinity for animals.  I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don’t actively care about them.  When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards.  In short, I am the worst.

There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits.  Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist!

And then I sobbed in my office for ten minutes.  The same ten minutes that magazines urge me to use for sit-ups and triceps dips, I used for sobbing.  

Although I am sad about finishing Tina’s book the first time through, there are many things to be happy about.  First, I copied down some more things written on that infamous bathroom stall.  There was an answer to the What would you do if you couldn’t get hurt? question which was: Walk in front of a bus.  Yes, profound.  A few inches down, was written in caps: FREE TUITION BITCHES!  Again, thank you for that- so profound.  Then towards the bottom of the door was written: You are beautiful, don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t.  Now that one I like.  Good job, friend.  But again, this one was partially scrubbed off too.  We can’t even boost each other’s self-esteems (because Lord knows every college female needs to hear that they’re beautiful).  I will keep ya updated and I will take note of word-for-word bathroom stall posts.

Next topic:  Old love.

How great is it?  I am talking about elderly couples that still love each other more than they’ve ever loved themselves in their lifetimes.  Last night, at a percussion concert on campus (which was great by the way.  Way to go boys and girls!), I had the pleasure of sitting behind an elderly couple that was definitely pushing 80 if they weren’t there yet.  They were loving this concert!  Both had smiles on their faces and clapped as loud as their wrinkly hands would let them.  It wasn’t until towards the end of the concert that I leaned forward and noticed they had been holding hands the entire time!  Oh my gosh- gotta be at least 55 years or more of marriage and they still wanna hold hands.  That is love.  Old love is that day when you might actually run out of things to talk about, but you are no less happy just being with each other in silence.  Adorable.  That is what love should be.  Also, it should be an old man still opening the car door for his wife as if it was their first date 60 years before.  Cute, right?

P.S. This post is dedicated to that elderly couple at the Miami University Percussion Ensemble.  They not only helped me keep some sort of faith in lasting, old love, but made me full of happiness for the week.  I want to ask them the secrets of life.  I want them to tell me it all.  (I was seriously considering telling them I thought it was precious they were still holding hands after all these years and asking them their secrets to a lasting marriage- but the marriage question seems a little premature for me).  They’re great.  Love ya, new friends!

Over & Out

Currently listening to: Young Love- Close Your Eyes